You don't know
by x l p e r f e c t l x
Summary: The people who loved her though they knew everything about her... but there was one very big thing they didn't notice... please read and review!
1. Chapter 1

**This fic takes place after the finale. I don't own any of these people.**

* * *

"So sorry I'm late." Chandler said as he sat next to Monica on the bleachers. He looked at Monica who was watching the basketball game, and could tell she was really mad. He looked to the other side of her hoping to see his little princess so Monica wouldn'tyell at him,since she neverreally yelled atChandler in front of the kids."Where's Erica?" 

Monica rolled her eyes. "Well I figured that you would forget to pick her up from dance so Rachel picked her up."

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry! I .. I was so busy at work.. I just.. oh my god. Monica.." Chandler watched as Jack threw the basketball into the hoop. He never knew Jack was so good at basketball. "Wow he's really good."

"Yes he is." Monica smiled proudly as she watched Jack.

Chandler continued to watch Jack play and clapped and hooted along with everyone else when their team scored a point. He really couldn't believe how good his 5 year old son was at basketball. He had been missing out a lot on the twins lives.

"DADDY!" Jack screamed as soon as the game was over and he spotted Chandler sitting next to Monica. He ran towards Chandler and hugged him. "Daddy what are you doing here?"

"I came to see you kiddo!" Chandler laughed and kissed the top of Jack's sweaty head. "You did a good job!"

"Thanks." Jack smiled and hugged Chandler again.

"You did a great job honey!" Monica smiled and kissed Jack. "Why don't we go talk to your coach and find out when practice is, and then you can catch up with your dad later." She took Jack's hand and led him towards his coach. "Hey Steve."

"Hey Monica." He said flashing her a huge smile.

Chandler looked at Jack's coach. He was a good looking coach giving Monica, a very good looking mother, some sort of look. He didn't like the look. He didn't like the look Monica was giving him either. He had to do something to break the look up."Hi I'm Chandler! Jack's father." Chandler smiled and stretched his arm out.

"Oh.. hi I'm Steve." The tall man shook Chandler's hand without the smile he was giving Monica. After a couple of awkward seconds Steve bent down to Jack's height and gave him a high five."Good game Jack!"

Chandler turned his head towards Monica and raised his eyebrows.

Monica rolled her eyes.

"So practice is tomorrow at 2 and the next game is Friday night." Steve nodded as he stood up and gave Monica a tiny smile and then looking at Chandler. "See you at the game?"

"Yea." Chandler smiled. "You'll see me at the game."

"Great." He smiled. "It was nice meeting you, and I'll see you two tomorrow."

"Why would Monica see you tomorrow?" Chandler asked a little surprised.

"Well.. I'm assuming Monica's going to drop off, and pick up Jack from practice like she always does."

"Oh.. right." He laughed nervously feeling a little stupid. "Yea well we are going to go, since we have a daughter to pick up. "

"No I have a daughter to pick up. You have to go home." Monica smiled. "Bye Steve."

"Bye."

"Mommy is daddy going to eat dinner at our house?" Jack looked up at his mother who was walking really fast.

"No sweetie. Your dad just came to see you."

"Please mommy! Erica wants to see daddy too!"

Chandler picked Jack up and kissed his cheek. "Don't worry about it kid. I'll see you on Friday." He smiled as he stood in front of Monica's white Lexus.

"Mommy please! It's not faired that I get to see daddy and not Erica." Jack begged as he held onto Chandler's neck. "We never see daddy."

Monica sighed and looked from Chandler's face to Jack's. "Are you doing anything tonight Chandler?"

A small smile appeared on his face. "No I'm not."

"Want to have dinner with us?"

"I'd love to."

"Great." Monica nodded and forced a smile. "Well how about you and Jack go pick Erica up from Rachel and Ross' and I'll go home and get dinner ready."

"Sounds great."

"Ok." Monica kissed Jack on the forehead. "I'll see you at home honey."

"Bye mommy." He waved as Chandler carried him to his black Ford Explorer.

* * *

"Mommy we're home!" Erica screamed as she dropped her tiny pink duffel bag onto the floor. 

"Hi honey. How was dance?" Monica smiled and walked over to Erica's bag and picked it up.

"It was so much fun mommy!" Erica smiled.

"Where's Jack and your dad?"

"Outside."

Monica picked Erica up and walked to the door and saw Chandler taking out 2 big bags, with 'Toys R Us' printed all over the bags, out of his car. "Oh my god! Chandler! I told you last time that you are not allowed to buy them toys without my consent!"

"I can't help it." He smiled walking to the door. "I love them."

"We love you too daddy." Erica said with a big smile.

Monica put Erica down. "Why don't you guys go upstairs and wash up for dinner and your dad will come help me set the table." Monica smiled.

"Ok mommy." Erica gave Chandler a big hug and ran up the stairs.

"Is daddy going to sleep here too?"

"Don't push it Jack." Monica smiled. "Go wash your hands."

"Is that a yes or no?"

"No."

Jack ran up the stairs. "ERICA! Mommy said no!" He screamed.

Monica shook her head and laughed. She turned and looked at Chandler. "I told you no more toys Chandler. They have way too many."

"Come on it's just a few more. I mean they need a variety of toys."

"Chandler every time you see them, you bring them huge bags of toys. You can't spoil them."

"Why not? Their my kids and I love them. I mean I don't get to see them everyday."

"That's your fault. I give you the opportunity to see them and you don't take it. So stop buying them so many toys. Maybe one or two.. but not the whole store."

"Monica I'm very busy. Of course I'd love to see my kids more. It's not like I sit in the office and don't do anything, I actually work."

"I know.. but you could make time for them once in a while."

"All my spare time is devoted to those 2 kids." Chandler sighed. "Fine. No more toys." He shook his head and followed her into the kitchen. "So what's with you and Jack's coach?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you guys seeing each other?"

Monica laughed. "No. Why would you think that?"

"I don't know.. seems like you two had something going on."

"No, Chandler I'm not seeing Jack's coach. Not that it's any of your business."

"Ok fine." Chandler smiled and sat down. "Looks good."

"Thanks." Monica smiled.

"So is he married?"

"What?"

"Just making sure that your not having an affair with someone who's married."

Monica glared at Chandler.

"I'm just kidding Monica. Come on. Laugh."

"Your joke was so funny Chandler."

"Mommy can we have ice cream after dinner?" Erica asked running in and sitting next to Chandler.

"Yes." Chandler smiled and kissed Erica on the head.

"Yay!" Erica smiled and put her arms up in the air.

"Sweetie you had ice cream last night."

"Aww mommy please!" Erica pouted.

"Erica."

"But daddy said yes!" Jack whined.

"I'll think about it." Monica smiled and set a plate down in front of Jack and Erica.

"Aren't you going to eat?" Chandler asked as he bit his chicken.

"I ate before you guys came home." Monica said sipping her bottle of water.

"You did?"

"Yes.. So Erica did you learn anything new in dance today?"

"No. We just danced mommy."

"Why'd you eat before we came home?"

Monica looked at her water for a while and then back up at Chandler. "Because you guys weren't here for like 2 hours and well.. I got pretty hungry and just ate. Sorry."

"Oh. Sorry I didn't know you were hungry. I would've skipped the toys."

"It's ok." Monica smiled. She sat silently and watched her kids eat and talk about their lives since they last saw Chandler. They adored him. They loved him so much and always tried to spend as much time as they could with him, since they didn't get to see him too much. Chandler was always busy with work, and no matter how hard Monica tried to get Chandler to see his kids more, he was just too busy.Even though she wasn't too crazy about seeing Chandler, she did it for the kids.She would always have to come up with excuses for him when he couldn't make it to one of Jack's games, or Erica's recitals. She always tried to make Chandler seem like the good guy. Sometimes Monica felt like the twins loved Chandler much more then they loved her. Which made her a little sad sometimes.

"Mommy."

Monica looked up. "Yes sweetheart?" Monica smiled.

"I'm full."

"Me too mommy." Jack said putting down his fork.

"Ok. Umm.. Well, I'll clean up and you guys can go watch some TV."

"Ok." Jack said running into the living room.

"NO JACK!" Erica screamed. "Don't sit on Charlie!" Erica grabbed her bear from underneath Jack and started hitting him with it.

"STOP ERICA!"

"NO! You sitted on him!"

"MOMMY!" Jack screamed.

Monica set the plates into the sink and turned around.

"I'll take care of it." Chandler smiled and got up.

"Thank you." Monica started rinsing off the plates and could hear Chandler settling the twins down. A couple minutes later she saw Chandler's body standing next to her. "Thanks for taking care of that."

"No problem." He smiled. "Can I help?" He looked at the plates. "Oh your going to get your sleeve wet." He pulled up Monica's long sleeves and stared at her wrists. They were tiny. He'd never seen them so small. He hadn't really seen her wrists in a while, well he never really paid attention to them, so they were probably always that small. He shook it off and took the plate she was holding. "I'll finish up. You can go relax with the kids."

"Ok, thank you." She smiled andwalked out ofthe kitchen. Sometimes Chandler drove her completely crazy. But then other times he was just incredibly sweet. She sat on the couch in between the twins.A couple minutes later Chandler came into the living room and sat next to Erica. "Hey do you guys want ice cream?" Monica asked and watched the twins blue eyes light up.

"Really mommy?" Erica said with a huge smile.

"Yea. Go get your coats." She smiled and watched the twins run to the closet and grab their coats. "Have fun you guys."

"You're not coming?" Chandler asked as he helped Jack zip up his jacket.

"No."

"You want me to bring something back?"

"No I'm good." Monica smiled. "Have fun."

Chandler smiled at her and then down at the kids."Ok who wants ice cream?"

* * *

"Alright you guys go brush your teeth and get ready for bed and I'm gonna go look for your mom." Chandler said as he plopped his keys onto the kitchen table. 

"Are you going to tuck us in?" Erica asked as she took off her coat and put it on the chair.

"I think so." He smiled and planted a kiss on her nose. "Go brush." He walked into the living room and all the other rooms downstairs. "Mon?" He ran up the stairs and gave a slight knock on her door before entering. "Mon.. We.." He drifted off as he saw the shocking image in front of him. "I.. I'm sorry.." He said quickly exiting the room not sure what to do next.

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**How was it? Did you like it? I've had this written for a couple weeks I just didn't know what to name it and well I can never come up with names so whatever. I know it was long. Please review.**


	2. Chapter 2

Chandler stood by Monica's door. He couldn't believe what he saw. It was the most.. disgusting, disturbing thing he had ever seen. Should he go back in there or should he just leave. He couldn't leave. He promised the twins that he would tuck them in. So he could tuck them in and then... leave. Yes that was what he was going to do.

"Daddy..."

Chandler immediately turned his head and found Erica dressed in her pink pajamas. "Yes honey?"

"What are you doing?"

"I was about to come tuck you in." He smiled and picked her up. "Where's Jack?"

"In his room." Erica said giving Chandler a sweet smile. "Where's mommy?"

"In her room." Chandler kissed Erica's cheek and opened the door to Jack's room. "Hey kid." His room was a complete mess. Monica would definitely have a heart attack if he saw the mess of toys.

"ERICA! Where is fat Dan!" Jack screamed as he threw a big stuffed bear on the floor.

"I don't know!" She screamed back.

"You hided him!"

"Nuh uh!"

"Wait a minute who's Dan?" Chandler asked putting Erica down.

"Fat Dan! Jack's dinosaur." Erica said with a big smile.

"Erica hided him!"

"Did not! You did!" She screamed pointed at him.

Chandler smiled and bent down to Erica's height. "Honey.."

"Yes daddy?" Erica gave Chandler that sweet smile she gave him before.

"Where's Dan?"

"In the couch." Her innocent smile grew.

"Why did you hide Dan?"

"Because Jack sitted on Charlie."

"Go get Dan."

"Ok." Erica quickly ran out of Jack's room.

Chandler picked Jack up and put him on his bed and tucked him in. "Night kiddo."

"Night daddy." Jack smiled and kissed Chandler's cheek. "Thanks for watching my game."

"You did a great job." Chandler smiled and kissed his forehead. "I'm going to try and make it to all of your games."

"Really?" Jack's big blue eyes lit up. They really were Monica's eyes. Jack and Erica both had Monica's beautiful eyes. Even though it was impossible. They really did.

"Really."

"Promise?"

Chandler nodded. "I promise."

"Here's Dan." Erica said throwing a big, blue, round dinosaur, at Jack. Ross had obviously given it to him.

"Ok. I'll see you Friday ok?" Chandler smiled and kissed Jack's forehead again.

"Ok. Bye daddy. I love you."

"Love you too kid." Chandler got up and picked Erica up. "Bye." Chandler walked into Erica's room and placed her into her very pink bed. "Night angel."

"Night daddy."

"I love you."

"I love you too daddy. When are you coming to see us again?"

"Friday."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"When's Friday?"

"Day after tomorrow."

"Really?"

"Uh huh."

"Yay!"

"I'll see you Friday honey. I love you." He planted a kiss on her forehead and stood up. "Bye princess." He said as he walked to the door.

"Bye daddy!"

Chandler blew her a kiss and she imitated him. He turned around and saw Monica coming out of Jack's room. "I was just about to leave.."

"Ok.." Monica said avoiding eye contact with him. "Are you umm.. coming to Jack's game?"

"Yea."

"Ok well, I guess I'll see you then." She nodded and forced a small smile.

"Bye." He said walking towards the stairs. "Mon.."

"Yes."

"You know you can always talk to me right?"

Monica nodded. "I know. Thanks." She said and walked into Erica's room. "Hi honey. Did you have fun?"

Chandler watched as Erica talked about the night giving Monica all the details. He smiled and walked down the stairs.

* * *

Monica sighed as she parked her car and got out. She was 5 minutes late. She was never late picking up the twins, but she was really busy at work and lost track of time. She ran towards the gate and saw the twins talking to a man. It was the back of a man's head that she didn't recognize, since theonly 1st grade men teachers were either bald or blonde,and this man had a full head of hair.. She began to panic what if it was some stranger trying to kidnap them? He couldn't be another parent since well he didn't have any other kids near him except the twins. "That's what happens when you are late picking up the kids." She whispered to herself. Good thing she was there and not 10 minutes late. It was a private school why were they letting strange men in anyway? Monica ran towards the twins. "I'm so sorry I'm late you guys." Monica looked over at the man and was shocked to see Chandler. "Chandler?" 

"That's my name." He smiled.

"What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to talk to you."

"You.. you do?" Maybe he was going to talk to her about what he had seen the night before. Of course that was what he was going to talk to her about. But why was he there? Maybe he got fired. He was always at the office at this time. It was usually the time when he was really busy. "What about?" She asked taking the twins backpacks and lunch bags.

"Stuff. Rachel said that she would watch the twins while we talked." He took the backpacks from Monica and took Erica's hand. "She's actually talking to Emma's teacher right now."

"What do you need to talk to me about? We can talk about it right now."

"I don't think so. Rachel's over there." He said pointing at Rachel who was holding Emma and walking over to them. It looked like she was yelling at Emma.

"Hey Mon." Rachel smiled and put Emma down. "Emma has a little pinching problem." She shook her head and ran her fingers through her blonde hair. "I'll talk to you about that later. You guys go talk and I'll take care of the twins." She smiled and put a hand on Jack's shoulder.

"I don't think it's a good idea. Besides the twins have.."

"I know I know Jack has basketball and Erica has golf. I know Mon I've taken them before."

"I don't want to put you out of your way Rach.."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Monica Emma and Erica have golf together and Jack's basketball practice is like a block away from there. Don't worry. Have fun."

"Rachel can I talk to you for a minute?" Monica smiled and took Rachel's arm and pulled her aside. "I don't want to talk to Chandler."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't! Isn't it weird that Chandler took a day just to talk to me?"

"No it's not. Monica just talk to him. He doesn't have days off very often and it'll be fun sweetie."

"Rachel please help me. I don't want to."

"Monica it sounded pretty important. Just go."

"Rachel, I know what he wants to talk to me about and I just.."

"No. You are going to go and you are going to tell me everything that happened." Rachel smiled and walked towards the kids who were playing around with Chandler. "Ok you guys ready to go?"

"Yes." Erica smiled.

"Mon give me your keys." Rachel smiled and held out her hand.

"What? Why?" Monica gave Rachel a funny look.

"Because Chandler drove me here and you are going with Chandler so I need your keys. Besides all of the kids stuff is in your car."

"That means I should take them." Monica smiled.

"No." Rachel moved her hand closer to Monica. "Give me."

"No." Monica pushed Rachel's hand away.

Rachel rolled her eyes and pried the keys out of Monica's hands. "I'll see you guys later." She smiled. "Ok you guys lets go." She walked towards the car and got the kids into the back seat.

Monica watched Rachel leave and then turned to Chandler. "I hate you."

Chandler grinned. "Come on." He said leading her towards his car.

Monica opened the door and her eyes widened. It was a complete mess. Of course she did expect it from him but it was crazy. "Oh my god!"

"Sorry." Chandler said taking the stack of papers on the passenger seat and putting it in the back. He grabbed his suitcase and threw it onto the back seats.

"There's so much paper in here!"

"Work." He smiled as he backed out of the parking lot.

"Where are we going?"

"Get some lunch. I'm hungry."

"Oh." Monica looked over at him and then pushed the radio button. If the radio was on he probably wouldn't talk to her. She listened to the radio for a little while and then looked at Chandler who was very concentrated on driving. He opened his mouth to say something and Monica quickly pulled out her cell phone and started dialing. "Hey Steve." Monica saw Chandler's head turn. "Is Jack there? Good. Yea I had to do something. Did he change out of his uniform? Good." Chandler pulled into a parking lot and turned off the car. "Yea." Monica laughed and got out. "I'll talk to you later. Bye." Monica hung up and put the phone in her purse. She followed Chandler into the restaurant.

"Two please." He smiled at the hostess.

"Right this way." She smiled back and led them towards a booth. "Enjoy your meal."

"Thank you." Chandler smiled and slid into the booth.

Monica sat down across from him and looked around. It was a nice clean place. It was a little dark though.

"You hungry?" Chandler asked looking through his menu.

"Not really. I had a big lunch."

"You did?"

"Hi. I'm Alice and I'll be your waitress. Can I get you some drinks to start?"

"Yea." Chandler smiled. "I'll have.. coke."

"Water." Monica smiled politely.

"Alright. I'll be right back." The waitress smiled and walked away.

"What'd you eat?"

"A little bit of a lot of things."

Chandler looked up at Monica and smiled. "You're amazing."

Monica gave him a funny look. What was that supposed to mean? Was he being sarcastic? She knew that he knew about her. Maybe that's what he was talking about. "Thanks."

"You're an amazing mother, amazing friend, amazing cook. You're just.. all around amazing." He smiled.

Monica nodded. Ok he was acting strange maybe he didn't know. He kept smiling at her and looked back down at his menu,

"Here are your drinks." The waitress smiled and placed their drinks down in front of them. "You guys ready to order?"

"Yes." Chandler smiled. "I'll have a burger and she will have a chicken salad."

"No." Monica's eyes widened. "Chandler I already told you that I had a big lunch."

"Do you guys need more time?"

"No." Chandler kept his smile. "A burger and a chicken salad. Thanks." Chandler nodded and handed the menus to the waitress.

"Chandler what the hell? I told you I already ate."

"It's a little salad Monica. It won't kill you"

Monica sighed and took a sip of her water.

"So are you sure there's nothing going on between you and Jack's coach?"

Monica rolled her eyes. "Yes. I'm positive there's nothing going on between us. I promise Chandler. If something happens between us you'll be the first to know." Monica smiled.

"Good. That's all I ask." Chandler drank his coke and looked around the restaurant. "I've decided that I'm going to spend more time with the kids."

"You are?" Monica asked a little surprised.

"Yea. I feel really bad. I mean I love those 2 kids more then anything, and I don't spend enough time with them you know?"

"Yea." She smiled.

"I've been working so much after I got promoted and I've really missed out on the kids lives."

"Yea.." Monica nodded. "Well that's good that you want to spend more time with the kids." Monica smiled. "They're going to love it." They sat quietly for a while and drank their drinks.

"Oh yea I want to give you this." Chandler reached into his pocket and handed her a white envelope.

"What's this?" Monica asked taking it and looking at it. It was a blank envelope.

"Open it later." He smiled.

"Ok." Monica set the envelope beside her. What was in it? Maybe it was a love letter? Maybe he wants her back? Maybe it was something really bad like he was engaged. He wouldn't tell her if he was. Well he would just he wouldn't write it in a letter. He wouldn't do that to her... or would he? He's done a lot of things to her that she never saw coming. Monica stared at the white envelope. She really wanted to open it now.

"I know you want to open it so go ahead." Chandler smiled.

Monica picked up the envelope and slowly tore it open. She pulled out some paper and read the first piece of paper which was a white lined paper.

_Hey Mon. You're probably sitting right in front of me reading this. I want you to know that I care about you even though we're divorced. You're beautiful. You may remember me walking into your room accidentally last night. I'm sorry about that. But what I saw was not very pretty. It freaked the crap out of me by the way. I know you're not ok and I want to help you. I know you're not eating and I never really realized that until a couple hours ago. It's about 5:30 in the morning and I've been up all night doing some research. I don't know why you're not eating, but it's really scaring me. Maybe you're sick and haven't told me. I don't know, but I know that you're going to tell me to mind my own business and I will after you get help. I love you. There are some places that I found that I think will help you a lot. Please get help Mon. It's for the kids. What happens if one day you tell the twins to eat and they say 'but you never eat mommy' what are you going to say. You need help. I'm here for you and so is everyone else. I'm not going to make you get help because I can't. So if you decide to get help I promise I'll take great care of the kids. I love you and am always here for you. _

_Love always, Chandler Bing._

Tears filled Monica's eyes as she put the letter down and looked up at Chandler. "I don't need help." Monica said quietly throwing the papers at him. She stood up and was about to storm out.

Chandler grabbed Monica's hand and pulled her down to sit next to him. He pulled her into a big long hug and kissed her head.

The waitress came over and set the burger and salad down.

Monica looked at the salad her eyes filled with tears. She didn't need help. She was fine. Perfectly fine.

"Thank you." Chandler nodded and slightly smiled at the waitress. He kissed the side of Monica's head one more time and released her from his arms. He took a big bite out of his burger, and watched Monica as he ate. "You gonna eat that salad?" Chandler sipped his coke.

"Sure.." Monica nodded. She wanted to prove to him that she really didn't need help. Eating wasn't that hard. She did it for years. She used to love food.She sat up straight picked up a fork and started wiping it with a napkin, even though it was probably very clean. She slowly moved the fork down towards the salad. The closer her fork got to the salad the more she began to shake. When the fork finally touched the salad she could feel her heart beating faster and faster. She lifted her fork and slowly brought it up to her mouth her hand unconsciously shaking. The fork seemed to be getting even heavier. Maybe if she closed her eyes it would be easier. She closed her eyes and continued bringing the fork to her lips. As soon as she felt something on her lips her heart began to race even faster and her head began to hurt. She felt the fork slip out of her hands and heard a big clang. She opened her eyes and stared at her fork that fell back onto the plate. She couldn't eat it. She looked up at Chandler and tears began to swell up in her eyes. She began to look around and saw that there were people staring at her. She looked back at Chandler and then realized that he had already finished his burger. "You eat fast.."

"Or it just took you about 15 minutes to bring that fork to your lips.."

"No way." Monica shook her head and reached across the table for her water.

"I'm serious. I really do think you need help Mon. "

"Here you go sir." The waitress said with a friendly smile bringing Chandler the bill.

Chandler took the bill and paid for it. "Thank you." He said handing the waitress the bill when she came back.

"Would you like your change?"

"No thanks." He smiled.

Monica slowly got out of the booth and waited for Chandler. How could that be? 15 minutes? He was lying. It's impossible for that to happen. She felt him wrap his arm around her shoulder and kiss her temple. She missed it when he did that. They got into the car and just sat there.

"You going to get help Mon?"

"No. Because I know I don't need it."

Chandler nodded and started the car.

"Did you talk to Rachel.. or anyone about this?"

"No. " They both sat quietly in the car as Chandler drove Monica home. "I'm going to go pick up the kids. Is it ok if I have dinner with them?"

"Yea."

"I'll drop them off before 9."

"Ok. Make sure they do their homework." Monica nodded and stepped out of the car.

"I will. Thanks for having lunch with me."

Monica forced a smile. "Yea."

"Here." Chandler held out a big yellow envelope.

"I don't want it."

"Take it."

Monica took the envelope and slammed the door. She opened the door to the house andsat down on the big couch and opened the envelope. It was another stupid letter, but this time it was typed out. She read the first couple of sentences and her eyes widened.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews! I hope you liked this chapter. Please please review!**


	3. Chapter 3

Monica stared at the letter in front of her. What the hell? There was a knock at the door. Monica got up and looked through the peephole to find Chandler standing on the other side of the door. She threw the door open furiously and slapped him. "What the hell!" She screamed.

"Ow.." He said putting a hand to his cheek. "Monica.."

"Don't Monica me!" She ran over to the envelope and letter and threw it at him. "What is this!"

"I know you're mad but..."

"No, Chandler. Mad is not the word for it. I don't even know what the word is but it definitely is NOT mad! You haven't taken care of those kids in 2 years Chandler! What the hell makes you want to have full custody of them? How could you do that to me?"

"Monica, I'm sorry I haven't been around to help with the kids. I'm really sorry. But you know I love them. Monica just finish reading the letter. ." He handed Monica the letter. "Read all of it before you start hitting me."

"If I get help you will drop this case?" Monica glared at Chandler and threw the paper at him again. "You said you weren't going to make me do it."

"I'm not making you. It's your choice. Monica these aren't legal yet. I have to call my lawyer and make the decision. I know that you love those 2 kids more than anything and, you would do anything for them. I want you to get help Monica because I love you. Those kids love you so much. You need to get help Monica please."

"No. Chandler I don't need it. When I need help I'll get it. But I don't need it."

"Really? Because the Monica I saw last night did need help. She needed a lot of help."

Monica sat down and started biting her nail. "Who says you will even win this case?"

"I know I will."

"You're using our children to make me get help?"

"Because I know that's the only way to make you do it."

"I've been taking care of them their whole lives Chandler.."

"I take care of them too Monica. I might not be around all day but I take care of them."

"This is the worst thing you've ever done to me Chandler. The worst. "

"I know.. But I just want you to get help." Chandler put his arm around her waist.

"Screw you." Monica said pushing him away.

"I love you."

"I'm sure you do." Monica glared at him.

"I do."

"I have to go get dinner started." Monica walked to the kitchen.

"I have to get back to my lawyer tomorrow morning to finalize my decision. So are you going to or not?" Chandler said following her.

"Of all the things you've done to hurt me Chandler this is by far the worst!"

"I know, but this is because I care."

"If you cared about me you wouldn't be doing this to me."

Chandler sighed.

"Go home. "

"Ok.. I'll drop the kids..."

"Rachel will."

"Monica please.."

"No. Rachel will drop them off."

"Monica it's my only day off."

"Bye Chandler."

* * *

"Hey Mon!" Rachel yelled as she walked into Monica's house. 

"MOMMY! WE'RE HOME!" Erica screamed.

"Erica you're going to be in trouble!" Jack said with a smile.

"What are you talking about stupid?"

"Erica don't call your brother that." Rachel said as she helped Erica pull off her navy blue, school blazer.

"Erica made a mess." Jack set his backpack on the floor.

Rachel looked around and found a crumpled piece of paper on the floor. "Your mom is not going to care about that little ball of paper." Rachel shook her head and hung up Jack's jacket.

"Hey." Monica said with a big smile as she came into the room.

"Mommy! Look at Erica's mess!" Jack screamed and pointed to the paper.

"It's not mine!" She screamed.

"Yes it is! It's not mine and mommy doesn't make a mess like that. You do!"

"Shut up Jack!"

Monica walked over to the ball of paper and picked it up. "It's ok. It was mine." She smiled and set the ball on the coffee table. She saw the twins face scrunch up and smiled. "Why don't you two go wash up dinner will be ready soon."

"Ok." They said a little confused. "What happened to mommy?" Erica asked as they walked up the stairs.

"I don't know but I think an alien kidnapped her."

"Why would mommy make a mess?" Monica heard Erica say and smiled.

"Mon look at this." Rachel picked up a big Photo album she had set on the floor. "I was looking for some pictures for Emma's project and I thought it'd be reallyfun to look at these. I mean we haven't looked at pictures in so long." Rachel smiled and sat down on the couch.

"I love pictures." Monica smiled as Rachel opened up the album.

"Remember this?" Rachel asked pointing to a picture of her, Phoebe, and Monica.

"Yep. It was our girls night out. Phoebe just had the baby."

"Yea. You were so hot that night." Rachel laughed. "All the guys were so sad to learn that you were married." She smiled. "Do you still have that dress?"

Monica smiled. "Chandler actually bought that dress for me. That's why it's so low cut. I think that dress is still somewhere in my closet."

"So what did you and Chandler talk about? Does he want to get back together with you?" Rachel said with a hopeful smile.

Monica rolled her eyes. "No. He just wanted to talk." Monica shrugged. "Do you need me to take you home?"

"No." Rachel shook her head. "Ross should be here. He was supposed to be driving right behind me with Emma, and Deacon." Deacon was Rachel's 2 year old son. Rachel handed Monica her keys. "Maybe it's time for you to take that dress out."

"What are you talking about?"

"Monica you and Chandler have been divorced for like 3 years."

"I'm not going to discuss this Rach."

"Come on Monica!"

"Hey guys." Ross smiled coming in holding a blonde haired little boy.

"Hey Ross." Monica smiled. "Is Deacon sleeping?"

"Yea. He got tired."

"Ross where's Emma?" Rachel asked noticing that their only daughter was missing.

"Umm... outside."

"Why?" Rachel asked as she walked out the door and found Emma happily licking an ice cream cone. "ROSS!"

"What?"

"She hasn't even eaten dinner yet."

"I know but she was hungry."

Rachel glared at Ross. "She got chocolate all over her new coat. We'll see you tomorrow Mon."

"Bye." Monica smiled and closed the door.

* * *

Monica yawned as she looked through her closet. She was so tired. Getting the kids to bed was not too fun. She wasn't too sure why she was looking through her closet since her pajamas were in her dresser. She walked over to a red dress and pulled it out. It was the dress that she was talking to Rachel about earlier. Chandler had gotten her the dress for some occasion she didn't even remember. It was a deep red halter and very low cut in front and back, it went up to about her knees. She decided to try it on. She slipped her clothes off and pulled on the red dress. She walked over to her full length mirror and looked at herself. She looked awful. The dress didn't fit at all. Her breasts weren't there, her ribs were sticking out, her arms disgustingly thin. She turned around and looked at her back. She could see all the bones in her back and she had absolutely no butt. Her legs were incredibly small. She looked nothing like she did before. She used to look sexy in the dress. She even thought so because she felt sexy. But now it just looked all wrong. She had never seen her body look that disgusting even when she was a large teenager. She hadn't looked at herself in the mirror for years. Only her face but it was the same old face. She wasn't aware of the tears that were dripping down her cheeks until she saw a tear fall onto the dress. She couldn't stop staring ate the disgusting image in front of her. More tears began to fall. She continued to stare at herself in the mirror a little while longer. She heard her cell phone ring and ran to grab it. "Hello." She said in a quiet voice. 

"Mon? What are you doing up? It's 2 in the morning."

"What?" She looked over at the clock and in bright red numbers read 2:16. "Why are you calling me then?" She sniffed.

"I wanted to leave you a message. Are you crying?" She didn't answer him. There was no noise at all on the other end of the line."Mon, what's going on?"

"Please come over... " She cried. "Please." She whispered.

"I'm on my way."

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews! I hope you liked this chapter.I'm so sorry it took so long to update this. I really wanted to update but I've been really busy. Please review. **


	4. Chapter 4

Chandler opened the door to Monica's house and walked in. He still had the key to her house, which she would probably want back. He turned the lights on and couldn't see Monica so he decided to run up stairs. He knocked on Monica's door and when he didn't get an answer he walked in. "Monica?" He asked staring into the darkness. "Mon? You in here?" He turned on the lights and found Monica sitting beside her full length mirror. She was sitting in a ball crying. "Sweetie are you ok?" He asked walking over to her. "Mon?" He sat down. "What's wrong honey?" He asked quietly. "What is it?"

Monica looked up. Her eyes were red and puffy and her nose was running. "I'm so ugly." Monica's face began to scrunch up and she cried even more.

"Oh no honey. No." Chandler stroked her hand with his finger. "You are beautiful. The most beautiful woman I know."

"No. I'm grosse."

"Never." Chandler whispered and brought her hand to his lips and kissed it. "No you're gorgeous."

"Really?" Monica stood up. "This is gorgeous?"

Chandler stared at her incredibly fragile body. It was like the same disturbing body he had seen before, except she had a red dress on and he was up close. She was bony. She didn't look that bad but she looked pretty bad. He remembered buying her the dress a couple months before they got divorced. He remembered the first time she tried it on. She was absolutely gorgeous. She looked nothing like she did in the dress before.

"You think this is beautiful?" Monica asked staring at herself in the mirror. "Because I don't." Monica looked down at Chandler. "What happened?" She cried.

"I don't know." He was wondering the same. Chandler sighed and stood up. "How about you get to bed? It's really late."

Monica looked over at Chandler who was already grabbing clothes for her to sleep in. "I think... I umm.. I think I need help..."

Chandler stopped what he was doing and looked up. "You do?"

Monica nodded.

Chandler gave Monica a small smile and continued what he was doing. He was glad that she wanted help. He set her clothes on the bed, and walked over to her. He took her hands and held them. "I'll make some phone calls in the morning."

"Thank you." Monica cried and pulled him into a hug.

He kissed her head. "Go change. If you need anything.. you know my number."

Monica nodded and watched Chandler walk towards the door. "Can you stay?"

"What?"

"Can you spend the night? Just.. tonight."

Chandler thought for a while. He didn't want to leave her while she was like that. He knew she was scared out of her mind and he couldn't just leave her. But then he had a lot of work he had to do that he didn't bring with him. "Uh... yea. Yea I'll stay."

Monica smiled and grabbed her clothes.

"I'll be downstairs then if you need me." Chandler nodded and exited Monica's room. Before heading down the stairs Chandler wanted to check on the twins and see how they were doing. He poked his head into Erica's room. She was holding onto a big teddy bear, it was probably as big as she was. He smiled and walked into Jack's room. He picked up a big dinosaur lying on the ground near Jack's bed and placed it beside him. He pecked Jack lightly on the forehead making him stir a little bit. Thankfully he didn't wake up. Chandler walked out of Jack's room and down the stairs he sat on the big comfortable couch and turned on the TV. He had so much work to do because he had taken the day off. He did a lot of his work during the night. He didn't really get much sleep. He usually stayed up most of the night doing some projects. The only times when he really sleeps is when he spends the day with the kids. They definitely made him tired. He walked over to the fire place and looked at all the pictures. There was a big picture that hung above it. It used to be Monica and Chandler's wedding picture but it was now a big picture of the twins. Chandler looked at the small pictures that sat above the fire place. There were tons of pictures. Mostly of the twins. There were a few pictures of the twins and Rachel and Phoebe's kids.

"You're still up?"

Chandler turned around and found Monica standing by the couch. "I'm sorry.. did I wake you up?"

"No, I was just going to go clean."

"Mon.. I think you need to get to bed."

"You aren't sleeping."

"I'm not tired."

"Well neither am I."

Chandler walked over to her and sat on the couch making her sit next to him. "You scared?"

"Of what?" Monica asked playing with the sleeve of her robe.

"I don't know.."

"Yes. I'm sorry for yelling at you today."

"It's ok. I understand."

"I'm sorry for using the kids.."

"It's ok." They both sat quietly for a while staring at the TV. "So what's gonna happen with the kids if I have to leave?"

"I'll take care of them of course."

"But you're so busy."

"I know.. but I'm their dad. I'm gonna take care of them. Perfect care of them. It'll be fine."

"How long will I be gone for?"

"I think a couple of weeks or so."

Monica nodded. "You promise you'll take good care of them?"

"Yea.. Well I'll try my best." He said putting an arm around her.

Monica put her head on his chest and hugged him.

He felt very comfortable. He loved cuddling with Monica. It was a little weird since they weren't married but he still liked it. "Mon do you think we could ever be together again?" He asked stroking her hair. "Mon?" He looked down at her and saw that she had fallen asleep. He smiled and took the blanket off the back of the couch and draped it over her.

* * *

"Ready?" Chandler asked popping his head into Monica's room.

Monica looked around her room one last time and nodded. It would be the last time she would see her room for a while. "Yes."

Chandler smiled and walked over to her suitcase. "Everyone's downstairs." He picked up her suitcase and carried it downstairs.

Monica walked towards the door and started walking down the stairs. It had been a week since she decided to get help. It was a very long week. Her friends were very surprised. And she had to hire a substitute chef for a while. It actually took a while but she ended up hiring a good one. Not a chef that was as good as she was but a good one. She stood at the bottom of the stairs and found everyone downstairs waiting for her.

"You all set?" Ross asked standing up.

Monica nodded. "Yea. Where are the kids?"

"Outside with Chandler." Phoebe said quietly holding onto Mike's hand.

Rachel tried to not burst into tears. She stood up and slowly walked towards Monica. She pulled her into a big hug. "Sweetie.." Rachel started to choke up. "I..." He bottom lip began quivering and tears slid down her cheeks. "We're all here for you. We love you... I.." Rachel sighed. "I just can't believe this is happening to you..." Rachel hugged Monica one more time. "I'll make sure that Chandler doesn't feed the kids pizza every night." She gave him a small smile and hugged her again. "We all love you so much."

Chandler walked into the house carrying Deacon and Phoebe's 3 year old son Henry. "Disor." Deacon said pointing out the door. "You are turning into your father."

Monica let out a small laugh breaking the weird tension in the room. "Yep. He's definitely Ross'."

"Down." Henry said wiggling around in Chandler's arms. Chandler let Henry down and put Deacon on the floor too. Henry ran over to Mike and Deacon just stood next to Chandler staring at him.

"I guess.. we better get going." Monica nodded. She really didn't want to say good bye to them. It was too sad. Monica hugged everyone and kissed Deacon and Henry. "I'll see you two when I get home." Monica smiled at the two of them. "I'm gonna miss you cuties." She said poking both of their stomachs gently making both of them giggle. "Bye." Monica waved at everyone else. She really didn't want to make her leaving a big fuss since she'd be back before they knew it.

Monica walked over to Emma, Erica, and Jack who were all playing around a big tree in front of the house. "You guys I'm leaving."

"Bye mommy!" Erica screamed as she ran away from Jack giggling.

"Bye mama." Jack waved at Monica and continued chasing the girls. "Erica! Give it back to me!"

"Bye Emma!"

"BYE!" She screamed. "Throw it to me Erica!"

"Aren't you guys going to give me a hug?"

Erica ran over to Monica and quickly pecked her on the cheek. "Bye mommy!" She said and ran off.

"Mommy Erica and Emma won't give me back my ball!" Jack whined as he ran up to Monica keeping an eye on Erica making sure she didn't do anything with his toy.

"Erica Bing!" Chandler yelled.

Erica ran up to Chandler smiling sweetly. "Yes daddy."

"Give Jack his ball back."

"Fine." Erica said throwing a tiny bouncy ball onto the grass and ran into the house.

Jack grabbed the ball. "Thanks daddy."

"Bye honey." Monica wrapped her arms tightly around Jack and kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna miss you."

"Bye mommy." Jack pecked Monica on the cheek and ran into the house.

Monica stood up and watched him slam the door shut. She sighed and turned around to look at Chandler. She got into the car and buckled up. The kids didn't even care that she was leaving. She could feel tears wanting to come up. But she didn't want to cry. She looked out the window at her house.

"You ok?" Chandler asked as he climbed into the car.

"Yea." Monica nodded. "I'm fine." Monica looked down at her hands and then up at Chandler. "Can we go now?"

"Yea." Chandler started the car and started driving.

"The kids didn't care that I was leaving." Monica said quietly.

"They don't know what's going on."

"I know.. but I just.." Monica sighed. "I guess I just wish they cared a little... you know?"

"Yea." Chandler nodded. "Don't worry about it ok?"

Monica nodded. It was a very quiet drive. She was a little nervous. Chandler stopped in front of a big yellow house with lots of flowers. She watched Chandler step out of the car and grab her suitcase. She unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car.

Chandler walked over to her and took her hand. "Everything will be fine." He whispered. They walked to the front door and rung the doorbell.

"Are you sure this is the right place?" Monica asked.

"I'm pretty sure."

"It looks like a house."

"That's because it is a house."

The door opened a middle aged woman stood at the door with a big smile. "Hi! You must be Monica." She opened the door wider. "Come in, come in."

Monica nervously stepped into the house and looked around. The house was bright and filled with tons of beautiful flowers. "Wow this place is beautiful." Monica tried to give her a small smile.

"Thank you." She smiled. "My name is Anne."

"I'm Chandler. We talked over the phone."

"Yes." Anne nodded. "Why don't I show you two around?" She smiled even bigger. She showed both of them around the house and talked about what was going to happen. "So I guess I'll let you two say your good byes." She said walking into the living room.

Chandler looked at Monica. "You gonna be ok?"

Monica smiled and nodded. "Yea." She wrapped her arms around him. "Take good care of my babies."

"I will." He said kissing her hair. "Have fun ok?"

"Ok." She smiled looking up at his eyes.

"Get better soon."

"Oh I will." She hugged him one more time. They stood like that for a while.

"Do you think when you come home.. we can try to..."

"Chandler you have to leave now." Anne said coming into the room, ruining their moment.

"Ok." He said taking Monica's hand. "Just one more minute."

"Ok." She said walking back into the living room.

"So I'll come visit you." He kissed her forehead.

"Can we try to what?"

He shook his head. "Nothing." He hugged her one last time. "I'll see you later." He smiled and opened the door. For a second the two locked eyes with each other and Chandler left.

Monica stared at the door and turned around. She was all alone now. No kids, no friends, no family.. no Chandler. She sighed and walked into the living room.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews! I hope you liked this chapter. Please review it!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chandler plopped onto his bed. It was day one of taking care of the twins by himself and it was exhausting. He had to wake up early in the morning, make their lunches, wake the twins up which wasn't a very easy task, get them to brush their teeth, get them to stop screaming at each other, find Jack's school blazer, try to do Erica's hair which took forever because he wasn't doing it right and she would start crying, get them to eat breakfast, get them to stop fighting during breakfast and take them to school. That was only the beginning of his day. After he dropped them off he went to work. Later he had to pick them up from school drop Jack off at golf and Erica off at Phoebe's. He went back to work, then hewent to go pick up Jack and Erica. He dropped Erica off at Rachel's so she could go to dance and took Jack to get dinner. After that they picked Erica up and they ate. Then he had to get them to do homework and take a shower, brush their teeth, stop fighting, and it took him so long to get the twins to sleep that he actually fell asleep himself. "How does she do it?" He sighed running his hands through his hair. The phone started ringing. He moaned, got up and picked it up. "Hello?"

"Hey Chandler."

"Nicole?"

"Who else?"

"What?"

"Wow you're grumpy tonight."

"You try taking care of twins all day."

She laughed. "Is that where you were today?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I didn't see you at work today."

"I was at work."

"I went to your office and you weren't there."

"I had to leave a couple times to pick up my kids and drop them off."

"Since when do you pick up your kids? I thought Monica did that."

"Since the kids are with me. Nicole I'm really tired right now. What do you want?"

"I just wanted to know where you were today. I mean you're always at work."

"Well now you know. Bye."

"Chandler don't go. Come on lets talk. We haven't talked in a while."

"We don't need to talk. We have nothing to talk about. I have to go."

"Chandler come on."

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Anything."

"Ok. How about we talk about me hanging up. Oh.. I think I'm going to do that right now." Chandler hung up the phone and went to bed.

* * *

Monica stared at the picture in front of her. She hated the picture. She had been there for about a week and still couldn't figure out the picture. It was one of those pictures that had a bunch of colors and you had to concentrate to figure out what it was.

"Hello Monica."

Monica turned around to find that the therapist, John, entering the room. He was a pretty good looking guy, but Monica wasn't too crazy about him. She didn't like him very much. He annoyed her. She wasn't sure how but he really did. "Hi." Monica gave him a small smile and walked over to the big brown leather couch.

"How are you today?" He asked sitting down behind his big desk.

"Fine." Monica sighed.

"You've been here for a week now. Any changes?"

"Changes?"

"You know, in your eating habits, feelings, or anything."

"I don't know."

"You want to know what I think?" He opened up a notebook and started writing things in it.

"Not really."

"I think that you've gotten a lot more moody."

"Moody?"

"Yep."

"Great." Monica said sarcastically.

"Well I just wanted to bring it up. But we're not talking about that today. I want to talk about your weight history."

"Ok.." Monica was actually waiting for this topic to come up. She assumed since that was the reason why she was there it would've been brought up already but they've just been talking about other things.

"Have you ever had weight issues before?" He asked putting his pen down.

"Yes I have."

"How so?"

"Well I was obese."

"When?"

"When I was a child until I was maybe 18."

"How much did you weigh?"

Monica thought for a while. It was years ago. She wouldn't remember the numbers. "Umm.. I think it was in the 200-300's. I don't remember."

"What age was it when you started losing weight?"

"It was my senior year after Thanksgiving."

"Why did you decide to lose weight?"

"I was fat." Monica shrugged.

"How much and how long did it take you to lose weight?"

"I weighed about 120 by the next Thanksgiving."

"That's a lot of weight. How did you lose so much?"

"I exercised.."

"Diet?"

"I cut out 3/4 of my normal meal and I started exercising."

"Was there anything in particular that made you decide that you wanted to lose weight?"

Monica didn't answer. She sat quietly for a while. "Someone called me fat."

"Who?"

"A guy."

"Was that the first time you were ever called fat?"

"No."

"Then what made this guy so special?"

Monica shrugged. "I don't know."

"So what happened after you lost all the weight?"

"After a while I started to eat the things I liked to eat. And my weight stayed the same for a while.. and after I got married I started to gain weight. And after my husband and I got divorced I decided that I needed to lose those extra pounds."

"How much weight did you gain?"

"About 10 pounds."

"Is that a lot to you?"

Monica nodded. "Yes."

"How was your diet?"

"I don't know how I got to the point where I stopped eating. I think I was too busy."

"Do your kids eat healthy?"

"Yes."

"Did you prepare their meals?"

"All of them."

"How was your marriage?"

"What?"

"How was your marriage?"

"I thought we were talking about my diet."

"We were. Now we're talking about your marriage."

"Why?"

"Because obviously your marriage had something to do with your weight."

"It had nothing to do with my weight."

"You said you started to gain weight when you were married and lost weight when you got divorced. I think your marriage did have something to do with your weight loss."

"It didn't. Why would it have anything to do with my weight loss?"

"Did you love your husband?"

"Yes."

"Did he love you?"

"Yes."

"Why did you guys get divorced?"

Monica looked up at him. "I won't answer that question. Next question."

"How did you meet your husband?"

"When I was a senior in high school. He was my brother's college roommate and he came over for Thanksgiving."

"So you guys were together a long time."

"No. Actually we didn't get together. We became friends for a long time and when my brother got married the second time I was feeling sad and he comforted me and we got together."

"How long were you guys together?"

"I think 8 years."

"How many men did you date before you started going out with him?"

"Many."

"Number?"

"I don't have a number."

"How many men have you loved?"

"I think 4 or 5."

"Anyone of these men ever cheat on you?"

"Yes." Monica's eyes widened when she realized what she had just said yes to. She had never told anyone about it. She just told a complete stranger.

"Your husband?"

"What?"

"Your husband cheated on you didn't he?"

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews! I hope you liked that chapter! Please please please review this!**


	6. Chapter 6

_"Erica, baby, your food is supposed to go in your mouth not on your face." Monica said softly as she grabbed a towel and began to wipe spaghetti sauce off her baby girl's face. "You are a cutie."_

_"Sketti!" Erica giggled._

_Monica smiled and kissed Erica's blonde hair. She turned around and found Jack covered in spaghetti sauce. Monica laughed. "Jack.." Monica smiled . "Next time I'll feed you your spaghetti." She began to wipe the sauce off his face when she heard the front door close. "Hey honey you have to come in here and see this!"_

_"What?"_

_"The twins are covered in spaghetti! Come help me clean them up." Monica put the towel in the sink. "You two be good now. Mommy will be right back." She smiled and walked over to Chandler who was heading up the stairs. "What's wrong?"_

_"Nothing.. I'm really tired. I'm gonna take a shower." He didn't turn around to look at her._

_"Ok.." Monica smiled. "I love you."_

_"I love you." He said not moving at all._

_"Ok well dinner's ready." She smiled. "Are you sure everything's ok?"_

_"Yea.. I'm just gonna take a quick shower and I'll be down in a second." He proceeded up the stairs._

_Monica felt bad for him because she knew he was working so hard at work to get a promotion which he had been waiting for. She smiled and walked back to the kitchen and found that the twins had thrown their bowls onto the floor._

_"Sketti!" Erica screamed and giggled as she pointed to the ground._

_Monica sighed. "You guys.." Monica grabbed a paper towel and began to clean up the mess._

_"Hey Mon." Rachel smiled as she walked through the kitchen door. "Oh.." She said as she stopped and saw the spaghetti mess. "Monica you are the only mother I know who would clean up a spaghetti mess on the floor in heels and a gorgeous dress. You look great Mon."_

_"Hey Rach." Monica smiled. She was wearing a sexy red dress and an apron. "Mind helping me clean the twins off?"_

_"Sure." Rachel took Jack out of high chair and brought him to the sink. "Why isn't Chandler helping? I saw his car outside."_

_"He's taking a shower. I feel so bad. He's been working so hard these past couple of weeks for that promotion. He's been so stressed out. Thanks so much for watching the twins tonight." Monica said throwing the paper towels in the trash._

_"You guys do it for me and Ross all the time so we're happy to do this for you."_

_"Chandler's been wanting this for such a long time."_

_"I know." Rachel laughed. "One Bing cleaned." Rachel smiled and put Jack on the floor and walked over to Erica and brought her to the sink._

_"Jack no!" Monica said as she pulled Jack away from the mess._

_"Sketti!"_

_"Two clean Bings." Rachel smiled and went over to pick up Jack. "I think we're going to get going so you two can start your night." Rachel smiled. _

_"Thanks so much again Rach. Their bags are by the door." Monica stood up and gave the twins a big kiss on the cheek. "Mommy's going to miss you two." She kissed them both again. "Have fun at auntie Rachel's."_

_"Bye bye." Jack waved at Monica._

_"Bye bye." Monica smiled and waved at Jack. "Bye honey." Monica smiled at Erica._

_"Bye." Erica waved and copied her brother._

_"Do you think Chandler's going to want to say bye to the twins?"_

_"I'm sure he'll be fine Mon." Rachel smiled and grabbed the twins bags. "Bye Mon. I'll see you tomorrow."_

_"Bye." Monica smiled and waved at her kids. She closed the door and cleaned up the remaining mess from the twins and pulled the two high chairs out of the way. She could hear Chandler coming down the stairs and she quickly lit the two candles that were sitting on the kitchen table. She walked over to the lights and switched them off. She took the apron off and put it on top of the counter._

_"Woah.. what is this?" Chandler asked as he stopped and looked around the room confused._

_"I made dinner for the two of us." Monica smiled._

_"What happened to the twins?"_

_"Rachel took them."_

_"Oh.."_

_"Sit." Monica smiled pointing at a seat._

_"I don't think I'm really dressed for the occasion.." He said referring to his pajama bottoms and plain white tee._

_"It's ok." Monica smiled and waited for him to comment her on how she looked._

_"The food looks great." He smiled and sat down._

_Monica sat down a little disappointed that he didn't notice. "Yea. It's only spaghetti.. nothing special."_

_"Right." He smiled and began to twirl his for in his spaghetti. "Well I love spaghetti." He nodded as he swallowed._

_"Good." She took the bottle of wine and began to pour it in the two glasses. "So how was your day?"_

_He continued to eat and nodded. "It was.. you know.. just you know.. same as everyday.." He licked his lips. "How about yours?"_

_"Good. The twins were so cute today. Today I was giving them a bath and Erica kept splashing around in the tub. It was the most adorable thing. The twins made a huge mess in the kitchen today." Monica laughed._

_"Oh. We should really train them not to.." _

_Monica put some spaghetti into her mouth and nodded. "Yea.." He didn't find it funny.. He usually found things like that hilarious and would make some sort of sarcastic comment. He must've been really tired. "Are you sure you're ok honey?"_

_"Yea." He nodded and bit off a big piece of bread. "I'm fine."_

_"Ok.." They finished the rest of the dinner in silence and after dinner Chandler helped Monica clean up. They walked to their room and Chandler plopped down onto the bed._

_Monica sat on the bed and took off her heels. Even though the night didn't go the way she wanted she still wanted to have sex with him and she knew that he would want to too. She turned around and crawled over to his side. "I love you." She whispered and began to kiss his neck. She could feel Chandler tensing up and he moved away. "What?"_

_"Nothing I'm just really tired."_

_"Oh.. I'm sorry.. I thought you'd want to do it because we haven't done it in a while and you've been wanting to.."_

_"I do.. but I'm really tired honey."_

_"Ok... I guess I should go pick up the twins then." Monica said getting off the bed. "I'll be back soon." Monica put some flip flops on and walked to the door._

_"I'm sorry Mon.."_

_"I understand." Monica smiled. "We'll do it when you're not tired." Monica opened the door and was about to close it._

_"Monica."_

_She stopped and turned around._

_Chandler got up and took her hands and made her sit on the bed. "I love you... "_

_"I love you too." She smiled and kissed his cheek._

_"I need to tell you something.."_

_"Ok." _

_"I want you to know that I love you more than anything. You and the twins mean absolutely everything to me. And I think you are the most amazing woman in the world... " He swallowed. "But.. today I did something that I really regret."_

_"What'd you do?"_

_"I accidentally... had... sex with someone else."_

_Monica felt her heart stop completely. What? Could she have heard that right? He slept with another woman? Maybe it was a man... maybe he took after his father. She would be a tad happier if it was a man, even though she wouldn't necessarily be thrilled, but she highly doubted it was a man._

_"I'm so sorry.." He said holding onto her hand._

_"Do I know this person?" Monica said not moving._

_"Nicole."_

_Monica felt her heart sink. Nicole. She was a beautiful woman. Brunette, blue eyes, incredibly thin or maybe it was the other Nicole.. the overweight, frumpy one. "Skinny Nicole?"_

_"...Yes.."_

_Monica stood up and walked towards the door._

_"Monica please... I'm so sorry. You know I love you more than anything. Monica.."_

_Monica looked at him tears wanting to escape. "I'm gonna go pick up the twins." She said quietly._

_

* * *

_

Chandler walked to his office carrying Jack not looking very happy. Jack had broken his arm during recess and Chandler had to go with him to the hospital. "Daddy I'm thirsty."

"Hey Jules." Chandler said walking by his assistant's desk.

"Hey." She smiled. "How are you feeling Jack?"

"I'm thirsty." He said as Chandler let him down.

"Do you think you can get him some juice or something?" Chandler asked looking through his mail.

"Yea sure."

"Thanks." Chandler took Jack's hand and lead him to his office. He threw his mail on his desk and sat down on his couch. He crossed his arms and made Jack stand in front of him. "Jack what did we learn today?"

"Never climb on the monkey bars and play monkey in the middle at the same time."

"Jack your mom is not going to be happy when she comes home to a broken child. What were you doing sitting on the monkey bars throwing a ball?"

"I thought it was fun." Jack smiled.

"Did you think it was fun when you fell off and broke your arm?"

"No. I thought it hurted." Jack took a seat next to Chandler.

"Doctor says you can stay home from school tomorrow if your arm hurts."

"YAY!" Jack screamed.

"How does your arm feel now?"

"It doesn't hurt a lot no more."

"Good." Chandler kissed the top of Jack's head and walked towards his desk. "Hungry?"

"No." Jack sighed and looked at his cast.

"Why do I have to wear the blue thing?" Jack asked referring to his sling.

"Because the doctor said so. Jack no more climbing on the monkey bars."

"Ok."

"Here's your drink.." Jules said walking into Chandler's office. "Need help opening it?"

"Yes please."

"Alright." She smiled and opened the bottle for him.

"That's not soda is it?"

"No it's apple juice."

"Ok." Chandler nodded. "He's not aloud to drink soda."

"Alright." She smiled and handed him the bottle. "I'll be at my desk." She walked out of the room.

"When can we see mommy?" Jack sipped his juice.

Chandler looked up a little surprised to hear the question. "I uh... I don't know."

Jack looked down at his juice. "Is she going to yell at me?"

"What do you mean?"

"Cause I broked my arm."

"No she's not going to yell."

"Ok." Jack sipped his juice again and walked over to put it on Chandler's desk. "I love you daddy. I'm sorry I broked my arm."

"Don't worry about it." Chandler smiled and held his arms open.

Jack walked over to him and put his non broken arm around him. "I love you daddy."

"I love you too kid."

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter. About the Monica's love thing. I thought about it and I didn't want to say like 2 or 3 because I wasn't sure if there were other guys in the past before the show that she might've loved. And I didn't remember whether or not she said I love you to fun Bobby and I was just.. not sure so I made it a lot. Sorry. Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. Please review this chapter!**


	7. Chapter 7

"So umm.. what are we talking about today?" Monica asked a little awkwardly.

"What do you want to talk about today?" John asked looking at her.

"I don't know.."

"Well I don't have anything specific to talk about today. I plan to have a couple of these. We'll just talk about whatever... so do you have any questions?"

"Actually I do." Monica nodded and folded her hands together. "I was talking to Anne earlier today and I asked her when I was able to leave and she said that you were actually the person to decide that."

"Right."

"When do you think I'll be able to leave?"

"I'm not sure.. maybe two months." He shrugged.

"Two months?" Monica's eyes widened.

"That's what I said."

"It can't be two months. That's a long time."

"This isn't a fast process Monica."

"I know but.. my kids' birthday is in 2 weeks and I need to be there! I can't miss their birthday John. I mean I know I'm already missing so much right now."

"I know your kids mean a lot to you Monica, but you have to take care of yourself first."

"What can I do to speed up this process?"

"Nothing really."

"I'm eating everything I'm given."

"I know, and I'm glad you're doing so well in that. But I honestly don't think you're emotionally ready to leave."

"Emotionally ready?"

"Monica you're not expressing yourself. I can't make you say things that you don't want to say. I know what subjects I need to focus on are. But I need you to figure out what caused all this. I know it's not because you gained a little weight.. It was much bigger then that. So whenever you figure out what that is come here and talk to me. And I will try to help you get past that and I will see if you're ready to leave. Monica you look so healthy and you're doing so well and you're progressing much faster then the girls here. I think it's possible for you to leave in 2 weeks.. but I think you need to work on that." He leaned back in his chair.

"So I'm eating and getting better but I can't leave because I'm not expressing myself!"

"Monica your emotions are a huge part of this. Sure you could be eating and look healthy but when you leave here something could happen and you can have a relapse."

"It's not like I'm on drugs."

"No you're not but a relapse is possible. Monica you are going to deal with this for the rest of your life. It's an ongoing battle."

Monica sighed. "If you think you know what cause all this why don't you tell me so I know?"

"Because you have to figure it out on your own."

"Then you're no help. I don't even understand the point of coming here!" Monica glared at him.

"I know you want to get out and see your kids but I think it will help."

Monica crossed her arms and sighed.

"Any more questions?"

"Yea." Monica said in a pissed off tone. "What the hell is that a picture of?" Monica said walking over to the picture that you had to really look at to see what was in it.

"What do you think it is?"

"If I knew I wouldn't have asked."

"I'll let you figure that one out too." He smirked.

"I hate you." Monica muttered.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

* * *

"Erica no!" Chandler screamed as he ran up the stairs in Ross and Rachel's house. Erica was about to slide down the rail. "Erica don't you dare!" 

"But daddy it's a slide!" She giggled.

"Do you want to break your arm like Jack?" Chandler picked Erica up and walked down the stairs. He put her down onto the sofa. "Erica never do that again."

"You're mean daddy!" She screamed giving him a very angry face and crossed arms. "I HATE YOU!"

Chandler felt his heart sink. He had never heard those words out of her mouth. He had never seen her look so mad. It was the one thing he feared about becoming a father. "Sweetie I just don't want you to get hurt."

"You yelled at me!" She glared at him.

"Honey I'm sorry." He said kneeling down on the floor and played with her fingers.

"Dinner's ready." Ross said coming in from the kitchen.

"Alright." Chandler nodded. "Come on honey lets get some dinner."

"NO!"

"Erica you need to eat."

"I don't want to eat!" She screamed even louder.

"Erica you have to."

"Go away! I want mommy!" She said pushing Chandler's shoulder. "I WANT MOMMY!"

Chandler ran his fingers through his hair and looked up. He found Rachel standing behind the couch.

"I'll take care of it." She said coming around the couch. She sat down and started stroking Erica's hair.

"Alright." Chandler got up and walked towards the kitchen. Where he found Jack, Ross, Emma, and Deacon sitting at the kitchen table. He sat down and sighed.

"It's ok man. She didn't mean it." Ross said trying to feed a carrot to Deacon.

"Yea she did."

"She's 5 she doesn't even know what it means."

"Ross do you think you can watch the twins for a while? I have to go somewhere."

"Sure.. but where are you going?"

"I have a few things to pick up at the office since I didn't finish them today."

"Oh.. sure. You gonna eat first?"

"No I'm not really hungry. I'll eat later." Chandler got up. "I'll see you guys later."

"Where are you going daddy?" Jack asked as he watched his dad walk towards the door.

"I gotta go to work and get something."

"Bye daddy."

"Bye." Chandler smiled and walked out.

* * *

"Monica you have a visitor" Anne said coming into the living room where Monica was sitting and talking to the other girls.

"A visitor?" Monica got up and followed Anne a little confused. She wasn't aware that she was allowed to have visitors. She saw Chandler standing by the door and her mouth dropped. "Oh my god!" She screamed and threw her arms around him. "What are you doing here?"

"Came to see you." He smiled and kissed her cheek. "These are for you." He handed her a bouquet of lillies.

"They're beautiful." Monica smiled. "Thank you so much."

"Can we go outside and talk?" Chandler asked Anne.

"Don't be too long."

"Alright." Chandler smiled taking Monica's hand and leading her outside to a bench.

"It's beautiful tonight." She smiled.

"Yes it is."

"I can't believe you're here. It seems like forever since I've seen you. It' been like 3 weeks."

"I know. "

"So how are the kids?"

"Miss you like crazy."

"Really?"

"Yea. Jack actually broke his arm." Chandler said trying to sound really casual.

Monica's eyes widened. "WHAT!" She screamed.

"He's ok.. he just has a crack in his arm."

"OH MY GOD! JUST A CRACK! My son shouldn't have a single crack in his body!" She screamed even louder. "He's ok? I've been gone 3 weeks and my baby has a broken arm!"

"He actually broke it a week after you left."

"How?"

"At school, during recess, he and a couple of his friends were playing monkey in the middle... on the monkey bars."

"Oh my god. This is what happens when I leave my children. I have to get out of here."

"Monica no. They're fine. Don't worry about it. I just wanted to let you know what happened. I have it all under control."

"Ok.." Monica nodded. "How's Erica? She have a broken leg?"

"No... but she does hate me."

"What? Why?"

"I yelled at her."

"Oh. She doesn't hate you."

"Oh yes she does." He laughed. "She clearly said that earlier today."

Monica smiled and rubbed his arm. "She's probably over it by now."

Chandler shrugged.

"Are you sure Jack's ok?"

"I'm positive." He smiled. "He actually really likes his sling."

"I can't believe he broke his arm. He's only 5."

"He was going to break it sometime. "

Monica gave Chandler a look.

"Well I meant.. you know.. now he knows not to do that again."

Monica smiled. They talked for about 15 more minutes before Monica had to go in. They had a very nice talk. They talked about what had happened in the 3 weeks Monica was gone.

* * *

_Monica stepped out of the elevator and walked towards Chandler's office. It had been about 2 weeks since he had told her about the affair. She tried to avoid him as much as she could. She really wasn't sure of how to deal with it all. She wanted to forgive him because she loved him and she wanted to stay with him because of the kids. She knew he was very sorry. Chandler had gotten his promotion and for the first time she was going to see his brand new office. She smiled at his new assistant. "Hi. Is Chandler here?"_

_"Yes he is." She said returning the friendly smile. "He's inside working."_

_"Thank you." Monica smiled and walked into his office. "Hi."_

_"Monica." He said shocked to see her. "What um.. what are you doing here?"_

_"I wanted to have lunch with you." She smiled._

_"Yeah?"_

_She nodded and sat down in the chair across from him. "I want to.."_

_"Hey Chandler I got your sandwich."_

_Monica turned around to find a gorgeous woman holding a big bag. She was tall, had brown hair and blue eyes. She was incredibly skinny and just beautiful. It was Nicole. All the men who worked there were all interested in her. She knew Chandler thought she was gorgeous but she never thought he'd fool around with her. _

_"Thanks... thanks Nic."_

_"Hi Monica." She smiled and set the bag down. "What are you doing here?"_

_"I don't know." Monica got up. "I better get going. I told Rachel I wouldn't be too long." Monica looked at Chandler. "I'll see you later."_

_"Monica wait."_

_"What?"_

_"Nicole I need to talk to Monica."_

_"Alright." She nodded and left the room._

_Monica looked at him hurt. "What do you want to talk about?"_

_"I'm sorry honey." He said getting up and walking around his desk._

_"It's ok. I'll make a sandwich at home." _

_"No. Monica please stay."_

_"I don't think we should be together anymore." She sighed. She couldn't make their relationhip work. Seeing Nicole really hurt. She couldn't compete against her. She was beautiful, skinny, gorgeous. "I thought we could.. but I don't think we can anymore." She looked down for a while and then looked up to find tears streaming down his cheeks._

_"Why?" He whispered. "I love you. I'm not sleeping with her. It was just that one time I swear. We're working on a project together. I tried to get out of it but I couldn't. Monica I love you so much. Please believe me." He whispered. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm so so so sorry. I'll do anything. I'm so sorry. I love you more than anything." He hugged her tightly. "Please. Please don't leave me. I need you."_

_"I'm sorry but I'm so hungry." Nicole said running into the office and grabbing a sandwich from the bag and running out._

_Monica pulled away and sighed. "Do you have any feelings for her?"_

_"No." He said shaking his head. "None. None at all. Only you. "_

_"Why did you sleep with her?"_

_"It was accidental."_

_"How do you accidentally sleep with someone?"_

_"It just happened. We were working on a project and we were in her office."_

_"You're attracted to her aren't you?"_

_"No."_

_"You're a liar."_

_"I'm not."_

_"Chandler I know you're attracted to her."_

_"I think she's pretty. But I wouldn't sleep with her again. You're the only person I want Mon."_

Monica's eyes shot open. She knew why she was there. Why she stopped eating.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews! Hope you liked this chapter. please review this chapter!**


	8. Chapter 8

"Hey Erica is your mommy going to bring 2 cakes for your birthday at school?" A little boy, Anthony asked as he stopped and picked up his basketball.

Erica looked over at him. "I don't think so. My mommy isn't home."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know. My daddy said she's real sick and she's not going to be home for a long time."

"So you don't have a mommy anymore?" Sarah, one of Erica's friends who was sitting next to her asked. Erica was sitting there with 4 other little girls.

"I have a mommy."

"Why is your mommy sick?" Anthony put the ball on the floor.

"I don't know." Erica shrugged.

"Did you visit her? Is she ok?"

"Umm.. no I didn't visit her. I haven't seen her for a long time."

"Oh. Maybe your mommy left forever. Like Joseph's daddy."

"My mommy didn't left forever. She's going to come home."

"That's what Joseph's mommy said a long time ago. My mommy said that Joseph's daddy didn't want him anymore." Anthony picked up his ball.

"Anthony come on!" One of the boys screamed. "Stop talking to those stupid girls! They have girl cooties!"

"SHUT UP RALPH! YOU HAVE STUPID UGLY BOY COOTIES!" Erica screamed.

"YEA!" Ally, another one of Erica's friends screamed.

"I don't think your mommy's going to come home Erica. I think your daddy is lying to you. That's sad she makes the bestest cake. I'm gonna go play basketball. Does your daddy make good cake?"

"No my daddy can't cook. He can only make sandwiches and macaroni and cheese and cereal."

"Your daddy should make macaroni and cheese for your birthday." He smiled.

"No. It's not good like my mommy's." Erica shrugged.

"ANTHONY YOU'RE GONNA GET STUPID ERICA GERMS!"

"RALPH I'M GONNA KICK YOU!" Erica got up and ran over to the little boy who was scared and running. Erica stopped and walked back over to her friends.

"I thought you were going to kick him." Ally said sticking her tongue out at Johnny.

"I was but then I didn't want to mess up my hair." Erica smiled. After school Erica walked out of her classroom with some of her friends, Lilly, Ally, and Jessica. "So your mommy is gone forever?" Ally asked grabbing her navy cardigan off of a hook.

"She's not gone forever. Why do people think that?"

"I haven't seen your mommy for a long time." Jessica said walking towards the gate where everyone got picked up. "I used to see your mommy everyday."

"Because she's sick. "

"Your mom makes the bestest food in the world." Jessica smiled.

"I know!" Ally giggled. "It's so yummy!"

"My mommy has a restront."

"I've never eated your mom's food." Lilly said.

"You'll never eat it. Cause she's gone forever." Jessica sighed.

"She's not!" Erica screamed.

"Then why isn't she here?"

"I told you!"

"Erica!" Rachel screamed.

"Is that your mom?" Lilly asked.

"No. But her mommy is pretty too." Jessica smiled.

"Hey girls." Rachel smiled andplanted a kiss on top of Erica's blonde hair. "Where's your brother and Emma?"

"I don't know." Erica shrugged. "Auntie Rachel is mommy gone forever?"

"Hey!" Rachel screamed at a group of laughing boys around Jack. "Jack where is your sling?"

"We used it to throw rocks at those geeks." Jack pointed at a group of boys and laughed, making the rest of the group laugh.

Jessica's mouth dropped. "She didn't answer your question that means it's true!"

"She's like those mean ladies on TV!" Lilly gasped.

"Oh no!" Erica put her hands to her face. "I have no more mommy! What do I do? My daddy doesn't know how to do good hair! I have to go." Erica said sadly walking to Rachel.

"Bye." All the girls said together.

"All of you say sorry!" Rachel glared at all the little boys.

"Sorry." They said in unison.

"It's ok." One of the kids with glasses smiled.

* * *

Monica knocked lightly on a brown door before entering. "Hi." She said with a smile and walked over to the couch. 

"Hey Monica." John smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Good."

"Great. So a couple days ago I told you to think about your feelings towards your ex. Have you thought about it?"

Monica nodded. "I think that he made a mistake.. A big mistake, but everyone makes mistakes.. Everyone at some point makes a huge mistake and I think that was just a huge mistake that he made..."

"So you forgive him?"

"I do." She nodded. "I know he loved me and really regretted what he did. I know he's really sorry. He's really the sweetest man I know.."

"So do you think you'll be able to move on now? After figuring out your problem... do you think you're ready to move on? Maybe go out with that coach you were talking about?"

"I think I'll be able to move on." She smiled. "But not the coach."

"Who?"

"Someone completely different."

"Who?"

"I'm not going to tell you." She grinned and looked down at her fingers. There was a big silence. She looked back up. "Thank you." She said softly.

"For what?"

"For helping me with all my problems. You are really good you know that?"

"The best." He laughed. "So you're kids birthday is in 2 days."

Monica nodded. "Yea."

"How are you going to feel about missing that?"

"Sad but I guess it's fine.. I guess I should get better and then see them instead of seeing them and having to come back."

"You wanna know what I think?" He smiled.

"I think you're going to say something."

"I think you're ready to leave."

"What?"

"You've shown tremendous growth.. and I think you're ready to go home. Sure it's a little early but I think you'll do fine. See your kids.. I still want you to check in every once in a while. But I think.. I think you're fine.. And you're ready to leave. I want you to see your kids on their birthday. I want you to see them because I know that's the main reason why you've worked so hard."

A huge smile spread across Monica's face. "Are you serious?"

"I'm so serious. I want you out of here by tomorrow night." He smiled. "You have tomorrow's activities to do and then you have to say bye to the girls and before you leave I want you to stop by here."

Monica smiled even bigger.

* * *

Jack sat on the couch with his arms crossed staring out the window. 

"Jack what are you doing?" Erica asked skipping into the room. She was wearing a pretty pink dress for her birthday.

"Waiting."

"For what?" She hopped up onto the couch and sat next to Jack looking out the window.

"I'm waiting for mommy."

"Why?"

"Because it's our birthday.. mommy has to come home for our birthday. It's our special day. Mommy makes our birthday cake all the time on our birthday."

"Mommy's never coming home again."

Jack was silent and slowly turned his head and looked at Erica. "Yes she is."

"No she's not. Mommy hates us and is never coming again. Mommy's like those mean ladies on TV!"

"No she's not!"

"Yes she is! We're gonna get a new mommy. "

"Stop saying that Erica."

"No. I'm gonna wish for a new mommy."

"You can't do that!"

"Yes I can it's my birthday!"

"But what about mommy?"

"She's gone forever! She hates us! I'm gonna wish for a new mommy!"

"You can't! It's my birthday too Erica!"

"So what? It's my wish!"

"If you wish for a new mommy then mommy is never coming home!"

"Mommy doesn't want to come home."

Jack punched Erica's arm making her scream and cry. "I HATE YOU ERICA!"

Chandler ran into the room and found Erica holding her arm crying. "Honey what happened?" He picked Erica up and kissed her cheek. "What's wrong princess?"

"Jack braked my arm!" Erica cried.

Chandler looked at Jack. "Jack what did you do to your sister?"

"I hit her."

"Why?"

"I hate her!"

"Jack you cannot hate your sister. Say sorry."

"NO!"

"Jack!" Chandler said raising his voice. "Say you're sorry."

"NO!" Jack screamed at Chandler.

"Go to your room." Chandler said sternly.

Without a word Jack turned around and ran up the stairs to his room. He slammed the door shut and jumped onto his bed with tears streaming down his cheeks. He didn't want a new mommy. He only wanted Monica. Nobody else. Just Monica. He missed her and wanted her to come home more then anything. He didn't want to spend his birthday without his mother. "Mommy I miss you." His arm for some reason would start to hurt when he thought about Monica. Jack cried into his pillow. Hewanted to make his birthday wish early.He heard the door open and immediately tried to wipe the tears off his cheeks so whoever came in wouldn't see.

"Jack.." Chandler said softly. "Lets talk."

"NO!"

"You're new favorite word son?"

Jack turned over and faced the wall.

"What happened between you and your sister?"

"I hate Erica."

"I know you said that earlier.. Jack this whole violence thing isn't good. I mean first throwing rocks at geeks and now hitting your sister?"

"I said sorry to Ronny and the other geeks. But I hate Erica!"

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because what?"

"Because Erica's going to wish for a new mommy for our birthday."

"What?"

"I don't want a new mommy!" Jack cried. "Erica said mommy hates us forever and she's never coming home. Why is mommy never coming home?"

"Erica has no idea what she's talking about. I need to talk to your sister, but of course your mom is going to come home. She loves you and your sister more than anything. She'll do anything for you."

"Why is mommy gone so long daddy? Where is she?"

"I told you.. she's sick."

"Mommy's never sick."

"Mommy's been sick for a long time but she never showed anybody because she wanted to be there with you. But she was sick for too long and needed a lot of help. She wants to get help and come home to you and Erica." Chandler said softly.

"Why can't you make her better daddy? Can't you make her chicken noodle soup and make her better?"

"It's a little more complicated then that."

"Mommy is missing our birthday."

"I know."

"Why can't she come for our birthday?"

"Because she's going to get better so she doesn't have to miss anymore birthdays. Just this one birthday."

Jack turned around with red eyes and hugged Chandler. "I don't want a new mommy."

"I don't want you to have a new mommy either kid." He kissed the top of his head and held Jack tighter. He could feel Jack's tears seeping through his shirt. Jack had been trying to be strong for weeks without asking for his mom. "I'm gonna go talk to you sister ok?"

"Ok daddy."

"Why don't you change right now into the clothes Auntie Rachel bought you and I'll see you downstairs."

"Ok." Jack gave him a little smile. He changed into a white tee shirt and put on a blue long sleeved button up shirt, that he didn't button up because it was hard for him to button all the buttons so he was going to wait for Chandler, and changed into some tan slacks. He ran down the stairs and plopped back down on the couch. This time he turned the TV on and didn't even glance out the window. There was a knock at the door. He looked around and saw that Chandler wasn't anywhere near. He didn't even hear him coming. So he jumped off the couch and opened the door.

* * *

**Thanks so much for the reviews! I hope you liked this chapter. PLEASE REVIEW! Thanks.**


	9. Chapter 9

"Hi honey." Monica smiled and bent down to Jack's size. He had grown so much since she left.

"MOMMY!" He screamed. "I missded you so much!"

Tears began to fall as she pulled Jack into a hug. "Happy birthday." What was he doing answering the door? She could've been a complete stranger. Why was he answering the door? She pulled away and looked at him. "Your daddy said you have a broken arm." She smiled. "Was he lying?"

"No." Jack shook his head and pulled up his sleeve revealing his cast.

Monica's eyes popped open. "Oh my god. My baby." She walked into the house and closed the door examining his arm. "Does it hurt?"

"No." He shook his head. "So you're not sick no more mommy?"

"That's right." She smiled as she sat down on the couch. "I missed you so much honey."

Jack kissed her cheek. "Don't ever be sick anymore mommy. I love you."

"I love you too. You've grown so much." She kissed his cheek again and hugged him.

"You look very pretty mommy." Jack smiled.

Monica was wearing the red dress. It fit perfectly. "Why thank you sweetie." She was happy that she was finally able to fit into clothes again and feel good. "Where's Erica?"

"In the kitchen. I'll get her, but I have to get my sling first cause then daddy's going to yell. Don't go anywhere. Stay here."

"Ok." She nodded with a smile.

"Promise you won't go?"

"Don't worry honey I'll be here." She smiled and watched him run up the stairs. She was still wondering what the hell he was doing answering the door. Chandler knew she would never allow him to do so. She heard voices coming from the kitchen and stood near the door way.

"But daddy! I don't like mommy! Mommy hates us and is never gonna see us ever again! Mommy hates us daddy!"

"Erica your mother loves you and your brother more then.."

"I HATE MOMMY!" Erica screamed.

"Erica. Stop that."

Erica continued her screaming.

"Erica!"

Jack saw Monica looking into the kitchen with tears streaming down her cheeks. "Mommy.. What's wrong?" He walked over to Monica and looked up at her. There were tears rapidly falling down her cheeks. "Mommy.."

Monica wiped the tears away and looked down at Jack. "Yes sweetie?" She said forcing a smile.

"Why are you crying?"

Monica knelt down and smiled. "I'm so happy to see you."

Jack smiled and hugged her. "Erica's in there." He said pointing to the kitchen.

"Look at your sling." Monica said touching it. She pecked him on the forehead as she stood up.

"Who's that lady?" Erica asked still mad as she looked over at Jack.

Monica turned around and forced a smile.

Chandler's eyes widened. "Oh my god! Monica what are you doing here?"

"I'm back." She smiled taking Jack's hand.

"You're back?"

"Yea. I'm better." She walked into the kitchen and looked at Erica who was shocked to see Monica.

Chandler smiled and ran over to hug Monica. "Oh my god." He hugged her tight. "We missed you so much." He pulled away and looked at her. "You look..." He shook his head. "Amazing." He smiled. "You are just.. beautiful."

"Thank you." She said quietly. She looked over at Erica who was still sitting in the chair. "Hi honey..." She hated thinking that Erica hated her. She hated the thought of it.

"Mommy?"

"Yes?"

Erica ran over to Monica crying. "I misted you mommy!"

Monica could feel her tears running down her shoulder. "Oh missed you too angel." Monica whispered and kissed her forehead.

"Please don't be sick no more mommy." Erica hugged Monica even tighter.

"I'll try honey."

"I'm sorry I said I hated you mommy.. I love you."

"It's ok sweetie. I love you too. Why are you crying?"

"I misted you so much! Anthony said that you lefted us forever like Joseph's daddy. And you don't love us."

"I would never leave you.. I love you two more than anything in this world. So how about smiling princess?" Monica smiled and put a finger under Erica's chin.

"I can't."

"Of course you can. You're Erica Bing.. my little giggler. Come on give me that gorgeous smile."

A huge smile spread across Erica's face.

"There it is." Monica laughed and hugged Erica again. She looked over at Jack and smiled at him.

Jack ran over to Monica and hugged her again. "Thank you for coming home for our birthday mommy."

"I wouldn't miss my babies birthday."

Chandler smiled. "Why don't you guys go in the living room and catch up.. I'm going to go change."

* * *

"Mommy you promise you are going to be here when we wake up?" Jack asked looking up at Monica.

"I promise." She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "Good night."

"I love you."

"I love you." She kissed him one more time and stood up. "I'll be downstairs."

"Ok." He smiled and turned over.

Monica stood by the door for a while watching him sleep. He was so cute. She missed the twins so much. It was unbelievable. She had a lot of fun that night. She got to see all her friends and she got to spend time with Jack and Erica. They didn't leave her side the whole night. It was the first time she had eaten cake. It had been so long since she had eaten a slice of cake. She felt something on her arm and turned around. It was Chandler. "Hey." She smiled.

"You wanna talk?"

"Sure." Monica smiled and walked with him into the living room and sat on the couch.

"You happy to be home?"

She nodded. "You glad I'm home?"

"Eh.. you know.. you're such an ugly sight. I'm really disappointed." He said with a smile. Hoping that she knew he was joking. He wasn't sure if it was ok to joke.

Monica laughed and playfully pushed him. "Thank you."

"Seriously? I'm so happy your home. I'm happy you're healthy."

They both sat quietly just smiling at each other. "Chandler I forgive you for sleeping with Nicole, but I want you to forgive yourself."

"What?"

"I know you're mad at yourself for sleeping with her."

Chandler looked away.

"If you don't forgive yourself it makes it much more harder for me to forgive you."

"Why do you need to forgive me?"

"Because you made a mistake and I want to forgive you."

"No. No I don't want you to forgive me." He looked into her eyes. His eyes filling up with tears. "What I did was completely unforgivable. I don't even know why I did it... I know how much it hurts to be cheated on. And it must've hurt a million times more because we were married. I'm so sorry. But I don't deserve to be forgiven."

"You do." She said taking his hand. "You made a mistake. You're an amazing person. You took care of me.. you dropped everything to watch our kids because I needed help. I don't think many people would do that."

Chandler laughed and wiped his cheeks. "I didn't do a great job. I mean.. I broke our kid's arm. Somehow Erica learned to use the word hate.."

Monica smiled and wrapped her arms around him. "You did an amazing job."

"I was an idiot. Monica I swear I only slept with her that one time. I never slept with her after that. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I caused you so much pain. I really am. You have no idea. I would do anything to go back in time and change that. I loved you. I want you to know that. I loved you and I'm so sorry I was an ass hole and slept with her." Tears began to run down his cheeks. They had never spoken about it before. After they got divorced the only thing they really talked about was the kids. During their divorce they never spoke of what happened. It was their first time talking about it.

"Nicole is beautiful.. and I understood why you slept with her.."

"No Monica I.."

"Let me finish." She said cutting him off. "I understood why you slept with her. She's so beautiful. Every guy in your office wanted her. They wanted her so much. But you were the only one who could get her. You're honestly the sweetest guy I know.. And no matter how much I try to hate you I can't. I thought you slept with Nicole because she's beautiful and she was so skinny and I had gained weight and I was unattractive... and for so long I was convinced that was the reason why you slept with her. I thought I needed to lose weight.. I didn't want to be that fat girl again. So I decided to stop eating so I wouldn't be that fat girl again. When we were teenagers and you called me fat I lost the weight because of you..."

Chandler shook his head. "You are much more beautiful than Nicole. I promise you that.. I don't know what I was doing sleeping with her.. I'm so so so sorry. You can never be unattractive to me.. no matter how much you weigh. I never noticed you gained weight... you were just.. Monica.. my beautiful Monica.. I was just too stupid. I love you more than anything Mon... I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for doing this to you. I'm the reason this happened."

"No.. No. I was stupid and ran away from our relationship. I was scared."

"You had a reason to leave." He kissed the top of her head.

"I love you Chandler."

Chandler moved slowly away from Monica. "No."

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews. I hope you liked that please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

"What?"

"You can't love me.. No. I don't deserve your love. I slept with another woman while we were married and that is just not forgivable."

"What do you want?"

"I want you to not forgive me. I want you to not love me because I don't deserve it. I want you to love someone better for you. Someone who won't be an idiot and sleep with someone else even though they are completely in love with you. I want you to find a good guy."

"I already did."

"Not me. I'm not a good guy."

"If you don't love me just tell me." She smiled. "I'll be fine with it."

"I do love you.. but I don't deserve you."

"But I do. I don't care about the past anymore.. I learned that I can't live in the past. It's time to move on. Start fresh. I want to be with you. "

"I don't want to be with you." Chandler said quietly. "I can't hurt you again."

"I trust you.."

"Monica you don't know what it's like to hurt the one person you care the most for."

Monica sighed and stared at him.

"You look absolutely stunning tonight.. have I told you that?" He smiled.

Monica let out a small laugh. "I don't know you might've said that a few times.. 20.. 50..times maybe" She stared at him a little longer. "Come on Chandler.. what are you scared of? We've been married before."

"You really want to be married to me again?" He laughed. "I mean even though I never threw out the trash or helped around the house... and whenever I did I'd mess up."

"I enjoyed it. " She smiled. "Isn't this what you were trying to ask me the day you dropped me off?"

"Yea.. but I figured you would never want to be with me again.. and that I don't deserve you. What about that coach? I hear he's a really successful lawyer.. I mean he sounds pretty damn good. He's rich.. and he somehow has time to coach boys basketball. He volunteers.."

"Where did you here all this?"

"I've been chatting with some of the mothers at the kids school." Chandler said with a small smile. "They all seem to think that you two are an item."

Monica rolled her eyes. "So you would rather have me be with Steve than with you?"

"Yes. I bet he would never cheat on you."

Monica smiled. "Whatever. I'm going to sleep." Monica stood up. "We'll finish this discussion when youstop puttingyourself down."

"You're beautiful." Chandler said staring at her back. "Welcome home."

"Night." Monica smiled.

"You want me to go home?"

She shook her head. "I want you to stay."

"Then stay down here with me." He smiled. "Please.. I'm scared of the dark."

She sighed and sat down next to him. "I have to change out of this dress."

"I'll help you." He smiled.

She gave him a slight push. "You don't want me remember?" She moved closer to him and planted a passionate kiss on his lips.

"But I do." He whispered taking her hands. Be my wife?" He pulled away a little bit.

"Not yet." She whispered back.

"Will you be my girlfriend.. again?"

She smiled and shrugged. "I don't know.. all the things you said got me thinking again. I mean you don't take the trash out, you don't clean, you can't clean, you can't cook. I don't know.." She smiled and looked at him for a while. "Besides..I thought you would rather have me go out with Steve then with you."

"Yea.. I thought about that.. but umm..." He thought for a while. He couldn't think of anything."We're starting fresh remember?" Chandler gave her a small smile.

"Oh yea.. then yes I'd love to be your girlfriend."

"Good. Now since our relationship started off with sex last time.. we should do that."

Monica laughed. "I'm really tired."

"It's good exercise."

She giggled and stood up. "I'm gonna change. You can come with me if you want."

He smiled. "It's ok.. I'll be down here."

"Aren't you scared of the dark?"

"It was one of my lines."

"I should've know." She said sarcastically. "I'll be back." She said starting up the stairs.

"I love you Mon.."

She stopped and turned around. "I love you too." She said flashing him a huge smile.

He stood up and ran towards her. "I think I am scared of the dark." He said hugging her. "Come on lets go get you out of this dress." He smiled taking her hand and leading her to her room. When they got to her room he closed the door and started kissing her. "I miss kissing you." He smiled kissing her again.

"What are you doing daddy?" Erica asked as she walked into Monica's room carrying a bear.

Chandler practically jumped off Monica. "Erica.. baby.. what are you doing up?"

"I can't sleep. So I wanted to sleep with mommy." She smiled. "Why are you on mommy's bed with mommy? What were you doing to mommy?"

"What's wrong with your bed princess?"

"I just want to sleep here with mommy." She said trying to climb onto the bed. "So why are you sleeping on top of mommy?"

"Umm.." Chandler looked over at Monica, who looked very amused. "I... was falling down and your mother caught me."

"Why did you fall?" Erica asked wrapping her arms around Monica.

"You should be asleep. Night princess." Chandler smiled pecking her forehead.

"Can I sleep here mommy?"

"Of course." Monica smiled. "I'm going to go change."

"I like your dress mommy." Erica said as she got under the covers.

"I like it too." Monica said smiling at Chandler.

"Night daddy I love you." She said blowing him a kiss.

"Love you honey." He returned the kiss. "I'll see you guys in the morning."

Monica walked over to Chandler. "You're not staying?" She asked quietly.

"I don't think so."

"Please.. for your girlfriend." She grinned.

"I'll be on the couch." He smiled and quickly pecked her on the lips.

"Ew." Ericagiggled. "Daddy you just kissded mommy."

"I'm sorry." Chandler smiled and pecked Monica again.

"You did it again daddy!" Erica giggled.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Monica smiled.

"Yes mommy." Erica smiled and closed her eyes.

Monica turned back around and kissed Chandler. "I'll try to come downstairs for a little snack."

"K." Chandler whispered and kissed her again. He heard Erica's giggle. "Little missy."

"Sorry." She said still giggling.

"I'll see you later." Chandler smiled. "Good night Ms. Erica Bing."

"Why were you kissing mommy?"

"Because I love her."

"You never kiss mommy."

"Well things will be different now. I'm going to be kissing your mom a lot." He smiled. "Well I'll be downstairs. Night princess."

* * *

Chandler looked over at Monica. He could tell she was really happy. He put an arm around her and kissed her lightly on the cheek, making her look at him and smile. "I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too." She whispered back. She looked at him for a while before turning back to Jack's basketball game.

It had been about nine months since they had gotten back together and basketball season had started. Jack was able to play since he no longer had a broken arm. Monica and Chandler were still not married, but were planning a wedding. "I'll be back." Chandler said standing up. "I'm gonna get Jack a drink for when he's finished." He walked off and walked over to a vending machine to get Jack a sports drink. He walked back into the gym and saw that everyone was on the court around the kids. He looked around for Jack and Monica. He found Jack talking to his friends, so he started walking towards them until he saw Monica. He smiled and walked over to her wrapping his arms around her and planting a tiny kiss on her lips. "Hey honey."

"Hey." Monica smiled.

"I'm gonna go give this to Jack." Chandler said unwrapping his arms. He looked at who Monica was talking to. "Oh hey Steve. Sorry I didn't see you. Great game." He said giving him a nod. He looked at Monica and back at Steve. Steve was looking at Monica like he was looking at her the first night Chandler went to the game.. but Monica wasn't looking at him that way. "I'll see you tomorrow Steve." Chandler said turning around to find Jack near him. "Hey kid!" Chandler said as he handed Jack his drink. "Good game!"

"Thanks dad." Jack smiled.

"So are you and Chandler together?" Chandler heard Steve ask.

"Yea."

"Oh.."

"I'm sorry Steve.. You're a great guy.."

"Are you sure about him?" Steve laughed. "I mean.. you guys were divorced I mean there must've been some reason."

"I love him. Steve you'll find someone."

"Congradulations."

"Thank you."

"Well I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yea bye."

Chandler felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned around with a big smile.

"Come on lets go pick up Erica." Monica smiled and kissed him on the cheek. "I love you." She said as she pulled away.

"Me too." He took her hand. "Come on Jack."

"Coming daddy!" Jack yelled.

* * *

**The end. how was this? I really hope you liked this. Please review.**


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